We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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