Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
