3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
zippers are such a cool invention
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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