just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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