Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
