Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I look better un-naked...
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize