is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
