JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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