gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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