It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
