The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I currently don't understand fingers.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
