What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
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