when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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