there was a trapeze. enough said
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
