i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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