Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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