We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
