Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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