Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
