yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
They took my balls.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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