Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
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I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
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So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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