Say something about gay babies.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
