would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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