I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize