Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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