You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
