I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Randomize
