Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(606): View more from Kentucky

are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.

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(714): View more from California

I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.

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(847): View more from Illinois

She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(716): View more from New York

The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast

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(330): View more from Ohio

I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported

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(425): View more from Washington

It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.

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(519): View more from Ontario

Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.

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(817): View more from Texas

Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.

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