i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream