he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.