ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
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