I hope mine doesn't look like that
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
