Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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