I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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