i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
