she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
