you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
