New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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