his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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