I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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