i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
