I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
