I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
