it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
