Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
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"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
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DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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