my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It's shark week go big or go home
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
