I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
