Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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