I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
This beer is not sobering me up at all
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
