Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
