I want to stick my p in your. b.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Watching her eat just hurts me
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
