He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
