Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I want to have your abortion
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
