I must be too annoying 4 u.
why didn't you poke me back
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
