girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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