Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You should frame my arrest warrant.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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