You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize