I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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