Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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