it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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