so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
