He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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