I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
