babies were throwing up all over the place
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
