I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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