Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
