sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
