He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
