I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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