Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
