your parents love me but you hate me
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
