There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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