If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
