This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
