There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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