4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
this beer tastes like vomit already
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night