well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
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I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
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Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.