Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  that probably didn't help your case.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing. (1-810): that probably didn't help your case. http://tfl.nu/4tll
  Replies (14) Good night (1526) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you. http://tfl.nu/4g7v
  Replies (25) Good night (3473) Bad night (927)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along. http://tfl.nu/uoya
  Replies (24) Good night (3150) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside http://tfl.nu/0lr5
  Replies (26) Good night (5354) Bad night (673)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later http://tfl.nu/4xtv
  Replies (11) Good night (4951) Bad night (1005)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later. http://tfl.nu/5mcf
  Replies (4) Good night (809) Bad night (2199)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with http://tfl.nu/vxai
  Replies (6) Good night (1696) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  She's the worst person, but the best naked person

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): She's the worst person, but the best naked person http://tfl.nu/e5d7
  Replies (7) Good night (1663) Bad night (407)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose" http://tfl.nu/62vb
  Replies (5) Good night (1193) Bad night (461)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping. http://tfl.nu/k0y4
  Replies (16) Good night (1485) Bad night (682)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes. http://tfl.nu/b90a
  Replies (1) Good night (1064) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/nw7i
  Replies (10) Good night (874) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex http://tfl.nu/jwtl
  Replies (7) Good night (771) Bad night (249)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul http://tfl.nu/bbxf
  Replies (0) Good night (343) Bad night (202)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework http://tfl.nu/653l
  Replies (2) Good night (399) Bad night (242)

Randomize