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• (510): View more from California

  I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.

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• (510): View more from California

  You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  I feel like half our conversations start this way.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (407): View more from Florida

  If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.

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• (352): View more from Florida

  I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...

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• (772): View more from Florida

  Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa

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• (207): View more from Maine

  So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right

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• 

  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it

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• (845): View more from New York

  If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I have so many feelings about this burrito

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.

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